This Right Here Is What's Wrong With The Legal System
by Super Ninja Cupcakes
Summary: A sequel to "A Smurfy Christmas" When Hackus and Vexy join the gang, Jackie is reunited with the Smurfs. The IDCA has informed Jackie of a complication with custody, and problems ensue. WARNING: watch the movie first, there are spoilers. T for some language, possible violence, and mentions of abuse and neglect. don't like? don't read. no shipping, just family. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Hello all! I just went and saw the smurfs 2 today. Awesome movie! Warning: spoilers. Enjoy!**

Months and months later, there I was. Scars on my leg, ribbon tied around my wrist, smoke from a burning breakfast in my lungs. It'd been nine months since I had had any contact with the smurfs, and I was super excited when- in the midst of my choking -Ray called.

"Yello?" I said, still choking on Donnie's breakfast smoke.

"Jackie, you gotta get over here. It's important." Ray said, he sounded urgent, "It's the Smurfs. You gotta hurry, though, or Trish is gonna freak and try to whine her way into the position."

I rolled my eyes, "Well then it's a good thing you're her superior then, huh?"

"Yeah, not many people listen to me..."

"She'll listen to me." I laughed, "I'll be there in fifteen minutes, tops."

*LINE*

Fifteen minutes is such an overestimation. It probably took me a minute and forty-five seconds. And that's only because I had to drag out my favorite board- the one that the smurfs and Donnie gave me for Christmas. All I had to do was make a portal, get through security, and ride my way to Eliza's office. Lucile knew I was coming, she greeted me with her usual hello, how's life, that's great routine- then gave me my blue moon portal.

I rode through the portal with mounting excitement. It had been seven whole months since I'd seen the smurfs, and I missed them like no other. I was also really excited to meet the new guys. I saw the movie the week before, and was immediately taken with Hackus and Vexy. Couldn't wait to meet them. It'd be great to have another girl besides Smurfette around, and Hackus seemed fun. I hadn't the slightest idea why Ray had told me to bring the smurfs back, but I was fine with the idea. I'd love to have them over.

I rode out of the portal, pulling the board out from under me and landing on my feet. Right next to, I might add, the very startled Grouchy. "Hey, man watch it!" he shouted, jumping aside.

"Sorry." I said, laughing a bit, "Hey what happened to positive smurf?"

"He died." Grouchy answered. Just the look on his face made me laugh.

"Where's the rest of the fam?" I asked, looking around.

Grouchy motioned for me to follow him. "Papa's mushroom." he answered. Grouchy, ironically had me struggling to keep up with him. It always did puzzle me how Smurfs managed to be so fast. Must be their big feet...

I swear, the second I got in the general area of Papa's mushroom, all the Smurfs came flooding out of Papa's mushroom, and the surrounding ones. All of them spoke at once, and in the confusion I fell flat on my behind. I laughed and hugged all the smurfs that were within arm's length. All the smurfs that were around me that I _weren't_ squishing hugged me as well. From one of the surrounding mushrooms, Hackus ran out- in all his little blue glory. He shouted, "New friend! New friend!" flailing his arms around and jumping as he ran. A normal person would've asked if he needed a doctor. Me, I asked his name. Of course, I already knew his name, but it seemed polite and less creepy just to ask.

"Hackus!" Hackus answered, shaking my hand- well, my index finger -vigorously.

"Hi, Hackus, I'm Jackie." I said, smiling. "Where's your sisters?"

"Vexy and Smurfette having girl time." Hackus answered, smiling back brightly.

Just then, somesmurf came running through the crowd. I noticed the red scarf first thing. "Jackie!" Bashful said, louder than I'd ever heard him say anything- yet still pretty quietly, "Jackie it's great to see you!" he said coming up and hugging me.

I grinned ear-to-ear. I had missed this little smurf. "Excuse me, Smurf, you don't need to shout." I said with an Australian accent. Something told me none of them would get the reference, but it was funny to me. "Oh, it's great to see you guys again." I said, "Now I gotta see my girls."

"Hackus go get them, Hackus go!" Hackus announced, running off.

"Huh, couldn't get him to talk for nothin', then you come along." Hefty joked, gesturing to Bashful.

I laughed again, "Hey muscles, how ya been?" I asked, referring to Hefty.

Hefty looked around for a second, like he had no idea who I was talking to. "Oh, _I'm_ Muscles?" he asked.

This provoked laughter from everyone. In the time it had taken us to have the smallest conversation, Hackus had returned with Vexy and Smurfette. "Jackie!" Smurfette shouted, running up to give me yet another hug. "It's been so long!" she added.

"Yeah it has." I answered. Then I looked at Vexy, "Hey girl, what's happening?" I asked.

Vexy shrugged. This made me laugh, because she was a lot shyer than I'd thought she would be. "I'm Vexy." she added.

I smiled, "I'm Jackie." I answered.

I hadn't noticed, but amongst the Smurfs I'd hugged was Papa. He was in my lap with Grouchy, Gutsy, Greedy, and Passive-Aggressive Smurf. He looked up at me and said, "Thank you for coming, Jackie. I trust Ray has explained the situation?"

"No," I answered, "Ray didn't even see me today, we've not spoken yet. Why, is there something I need to know about?"

Papa nodded, "Yes, but we'll discuss it at your mushroom."

I nodded, "Alright, well, do you Smurfs wanna get going then?" I asked.

The Smurfs collectively agreed to going, and Hackus kept on saying, "Road trip, road trip!"

I opened the little blue box, thus opening the portal. "Okay, Clumsy and Bashful, in my pockets." I said, as if it were the drill, and they knew it. "Everyone else hold hands, Smurf chain!"

We got through the portal okay, though it was hard to hold a chain of Smurfs while riding a skateboard. What surprised me was, we didn't end up at the base, we ended up in my living room. That was odd, must've been a glitch in the portal system. I did a head count, just in case, and all were present and accounted for. After which, I went over the house rules with Hackus and Vexy, all of which the other smurfs already knew. Don't go off by yourself, don't leave the house, stay where I can see you, Donnie's room: off limits.

Once everyone was settled down, watching TV in the living room, I went into the kitchen with Papa to discuss with him what Ray hadn't told me. We didn't start out talking about that, though. We started out talking about Gargamel.

"I can't believe the IDCA is letting him get off Scott free, with three counts of child neglect." I brooded. Thinking of this, the pure thought of it made me angry. Just ask Donnie, in the movie theater I was crying, laughing hysterically, and at one point almost broke the cup-holder from anger. My emotions were all out of wack. "He _abused_ those poor kids! His _own children_. Who he _created_!"

"It's tragic what happened to them, how they had to live for however long." Papa added.

"I know! What kind of a parent does that? He has no business being a father. I just hope he has the common sense not to bring anymore children into the world. I mean, _Azrael _could be a better parent than him! And Azrael tried to _eat_ them on several occasions." I ranted, "And there's another thing, he doesn't feed Azrael either. Why do you think the cat's always trying to eat you guys?"

Papa nodded, then took a closer look at me, "Were your eyes blue the last time we met?" he asked.

"What? Oh, yeah." I answered, still in my haze of anger, "No they weren't. I went to see Gaylord about it, 'cause he's a doctor and everything, he didn't know why it happened. All he could determine is that I'm a ginger now." I shrugged.

Papa got a far off look in his eyes, and he stroked his beard like he was thinking. "Jackie," he said, "do you love my Smurfs?"

"Well of course I do." I said straight away, "You guys are my friends." I added.

"Hackus and Vexy too?" Papa asked.

I nodded, "Yeah. They're like family to me."

Just then, the phone rang.

I got up and walked over to the land-line, then picked it up, "Yo." I said.

"Great way to answer a phone, what happened to "yellow"?" Ray. Up to his old funny-guy routine yet again.

I shrugged, as if he could see me shrugging, "Hey are you like, not telling me something? Papa says we gotta talk about the, "situation"."

In the blink of an eye, Ray was in my kitchen.

"That was quick." Papa remarked.

"First class, that's how I roll." Ray answered, grinning.

I chuckled, "Roll," I chuckled again, "Wheelchair humor."

Ray laughed out loud, "I didn't even try to make that joke." liar.

I rolled my eyes (lol wheelchair humor) and sat down at the island with Papa. Without any help- he wouldn't have taken it, had I offered -Ray hoisted himself up into one of the tall chairs surrounding the island. "So, what's this all about?" I asked, wanting to get straight to the point.

Ray and Papa looked at each other then back at me, in a way that just _told_ me they were in on something that I wasn't. Ray spoke first, "Do you know anything about custody fights?"

If I had been holding something glass, it would have been shattered on the floor. If I had been eating or drinking, Ray and Papa would be wearing it. But all I did was sit there with my mouth ajar, knowing instantly what this was all about. "Oh god, don't tell me..."

"It's the law, Jackie." Ray answered simply. "Universal law states that a fair trial be presented for custody of Smurfette and the naughties."

"They're smurfs, Raymon." I snapped.

"Right." Ray answered, "Smurfette, Vexy, and Hackus. There's a chance, however small, that Gargamel may get back custody of them."

I put my face in my hands and sat there for a minute, processing.

**Author's note: Dun dun duuuuun! Stay tuned, it's about to get real.**


	2. Chapter 2

Ray made an effort to talk to me, telling me how everything would be okay. Telling me how it was a jury's call, and that they'd all seen the movie. Okay. But there was still a chance, however small, that Gargamel could get Smurfette, Vexy, and Hackus back. I didn't even want to think of what he'd do if-

"Hey Jackie!"

I jumped a little, it was Clumsy. I took my face out of my hands and looked at him, standing in the doorway. I smiled and said, "Yes?"

"Are you okay?" Clumsy asked.

"Yes, just talking with Papa and Ray. Grown-up stuff. Pretty boring." I kept my look of normality, wanting to keep all the Smurfs calm.

"Oh, okay." Clumsy nodded, "Well, your Papa's home."

"Thanks for letting me know." I said. And with that, Clumsy left.

Ray continued, "Listen, I wouldn't worry if I were you." he said, "Besides, we have rock solid evidence, witnesses, Hackus and Vexy themselves."

I sighed, "Well why is it even a question? Gargamel is an unfit parent."

"We know," Papa interjected, "That's why we need you there, to testify as a human guardian."

I looked at Ray, "You mean...?"

Ray nodded, "Yeah, you're gonna have to play the mom-in-a-custody-fight. Fun right?" He smiled, knowing full well how much I wanted to hit him.

"No," I said, "not "fun". What the smurf Ray?! I can't do this, I am fourteen years old!"

"You'll be altering your age, we all will." Ray explained, "Because we'll be doing the trial in an actual court house in Nashville. We'll have a jury of unbiased IDCA members, and judge from the company. Plus we'll be appointing Gargamel an attorney."

I thought for a second, "And who'll be defending our side...?"

"Me and Gaylord." Ray grinned.

I looked at Papa, "Yup, we're smurfed."

*LINE*

I walked into the living room to find not only Donnie and the Smurfs, but good old... "Kevin?!" I half-shouted.

"Sup." Kevin answered.

"Ray!" I yelled.

A second later Ray came out of the kitchen, Papa in tow. "What?" Ray asked.

I gestured to Kevin. "He shouldn't be here!"

Ray looked at Kevin, who sat on the couch, looking baffled with Hackus's hair. "Jackie, meet the newest member of the IDCA."

Kevin looked at me, grinned, and reached into his shirt. Out of it, he pulled an amulet, like mine, but his was lime green and in the shape of a martian head. "Neat, huh?" he asked.

I shrugged, "Whatever, no arguments." I sat down in the arm chair nearest the couch and watched as the smurfs went about their business.

"Oh," Ray said, "And you'll be driving the Smurfs to Nashville."

"What?!" I said, a little too loudly. The smurfs all looked at me for a second.

Once the attention faded off of me, Ray repeated himself, "You'll be driving. There's a bit of a problem in the magic system. New decommissionings have lead to glitches in the energy fields. So all agents are advised not to use portal travel."

"You used portal travel..." I mumbled.

"I'm not a field agent, I'm a movie-agent-supervisor." Ray smirked.

"That is a lie, you have personas in several movies." Kevin said.

"Perks of the job..." Ray said through his teeth. "Hey, I almost died in a car accident in the early nineteen hundreds, let me have this."

I rolled my eyes, "_Anyway_, I have to drive the Smurfs to Nashville. Meanwhile, what are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna go on ahead with Papa. We need finger prints, statements, background checks. The works." Ray explained, "Same with Gargamel and Azrael. You'll start the trip tomorrow morning. You should be there by the day after tomorrow for the hearing."

"Okay..." I said, "So you expect me to drive that far for that long, check into a hotel, and maneuver through places without attracting unwanted attention- with the Smurfs?"

"We have that covered," Papa said, reaching into his satchel. Out he pulled a piece of parchment with tiny writing on it that I couldn't make out. "This formula will turn my smurfs invisible and inaudible. The counter spell will allow you and Raymon to see and hear them." he explained. "Back in my day, _this_ is how we used magic. Old fashioned cauldrons and spells."

I smiled, "Okay. Alright you've persuaded me." just then, it occurred to me... "But I will be needing a blue-tooth."

Ray and Papa looked at each other, then back at me. "Why?" Ray asked.

"Well I can't just go around talking to the Smurfs if no one else can see them. Blue-tooth is the perfect excuse." I shrugged.

"Logic." Kevin pointed to me as if I'd made a valid point. I suppose I should tell you what Kevin looks like exactly. He has long medium-brown hair that he sometimes pulls up into a ponytail, one eye a different color than the other (one blue, one green), freckles spackled across his nose and cheeks but none on his body, and pitiful chin whiskers. So imagine a person who looks like that- and talks like a beach bum -saying that.

Come to think of it, I never did tell you what Donnie looks like, or Ray. Well Donnie's tall, with long-ish thinning dirty blonde hair, got a bit of a gut on him, and has green eyes. He also has a beard, which he usually keeps about the length papa has it. Ray is about the width of a pencil up to his head- but has okay muscle mass -and would be tall if he could stand up, pale with not a freckle in sight, shaggy black hair that's unevenly cut and covers his face sometimes (imagine an anime guy's hair), golden brown eyes with a ring of almost black around the iris, and a very very _very_ big mouth. Not only in the smartassery sense, but in the anatomical sense as well. He has the biggest, whitest grin you ever saw. Almost completely averts your eyes from his big bushy eyebrows...

"Why are you staring at me?" Ray asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Taking notes." I answered shortly. Then I looked back at Donnie and Kevin, who were talking about aliens or something- paying Ray and I no attention.

Ray shrugged as if he knew the drill.

*LINE*

Ray left with Papa and Kevin about a half an hour later, leaving me to explain the situation to the Smurfs. I was also to give them the spell- which Ray had cooked up -and give Donnie and I the counter-spell. I did that first thing, telling the Smurfs that Papa had given me this for their own protection. I had to explain next exactly _why_ they needed the protection. I sat everyone down in a circle in the living room floor, ready to give them the news. I decided I'd do it the same way Donnie did it when mom died and Aunt Priss was trying to get custody of me.

"So," I said, looking at everyone, "Who here knows what custody means?"

"Oh, I do!" Brainy shouted, raising his hand.

"Would you care to explain?" I asked.

Brainy stood, looking as official as his cocky nature made him look, and straightened his glasses. "Custody, verb, the protective care or guardianship of someone or something."

I nodded, "Alright, everyone go that?" all the smurfs nodded or shrugged in agreement, "Okay, so does anyone know what a custody fight is?"

"Um... people fighting over something?" Clumsy guessed.

"Right," I said, "Well, in my... in this kingdom, we have rules about custody of children. Like, my Papa has custody of me because, well, he's my Papa." I explained, "And, at one point, I was in a custody fight- My Aunt Priscilla wanted custody of me, but Donnie got me after we went to a courthouse and settled things."

"Uh, Excuse me," Passive Aggressive smurf raised his hand, "Yeah, what does this have to do with anything?"

"I'm glad you asked," I continued, "You see, Hackus, Vexy, Smurfette. You three all used to be in Gargamel's custody, right?"

There were a few random two-cent comments about Gargamel, and some booing. Hackus, Vexy, and Smurfette all nodded and looked at each other questioningly.

"Right, well, now you're in Papa's custody. And we have to go to a courthouse and make sure you three can stay with Papa. So, we're gonna go on a little road trip, and then we're gonna go to the courthouse and talk to the judge and the jury, and then you little Smurfs are gonna go home to Smurf Village. Simple." I smiled.

Most of the Smurfs seemed content with my explanation. Hackus seemed confused, but Vexy and Smurfette brushed it off well. Brainy, I knew, wasn't fooled at all by my powers of fake happiness and reassuring words. Probably because he knew how custody fights usually were...

"So!" I said, "Now that we're done with that, we should get settled down. Who wants to have a camp out in the den?"

*LINE*

The Smurfs and I were all settled, everyone in a comfy spot. No one was tired yet, so I played some of the few songs I know on Donnie's old acoustic guitar. Titles include: The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, The Cup Song, My Bonnie, and the closer Two of The Lucky Ones.

**Author's Note: Working on the next chapter already, hope you enjoyed this one ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up at around 4AM the next morning. What woke me was a combination of Ray, and Aunt Flo. Flo wouldn't have bothered me so much if she weren't coupled with a 4AM wake-up-call from everyone's favorite jerk face. My phone screeched with "Ballroom Blitz", Ray's ring tone, and I knew instantly that I wouldn't be sleeping anymore. Coffee maker, here I come!

"What Ray?" I snapped into the phone quietly. Bashful stirred next to me, making me cringe. "Do you have any idea what smurfin' time it is?" I whispered.

"Yeah, it's four in the morning." Ray answered, "Wake up."

"I'm up." I said in a low growl. "Why must I be up so early? We have the time to get to Nashville, Ray."

Ray sighed like I was missing something, "Have you ever been on a road trip before, Jackie? You gotta get everything ready. Plus you're traveling with Smurfs- who are basically kids. Have you ever traveled with kids? I have. You're gonna need to be up. Like now."

"Fine..." I whined, "But next time, let me know beforehand..."

"Gaylord and Ben will be over in an hour with your vehicle." Ray hung up.

"Jerk..." I mumbled. My phone rang again, and I jumped. "What?!" I whispered.

"I heard that." Ray snickered.

*LINE*

By the time I was showered dressed and caffeinated, it was nearing five o'clock. I was still drinking my Joe and drying my hair when the doorbell rang. I set my cup down on the counter and went to the front door, still working on my rat's nest hair. I opened the door to see Gaylord- who'd gotten a terrible haircut in the past time since we'd seen one another -and blonde, douche-bag-looking guy. Not to be rude or anything, but this guy just radiated douchey-ness. He just _looked_ like a douche bag. I mean, polo shirt, Axe body spray, khakis, and his friggin _hair_.

"Hey." I said, holding the door open with my hip.

"Hello, Jackie." Gaylord said. He'd obviously altered his age to the point where he could drive, "We have your vehicle here for you." He held out the keys to me.

"Thanks man." I smiled and took them from him, putting them in my hip pocket straight away.

I am going to skip what the blonde douche said, and what I said to him in response. Because if I were to include that, this would be rated M (A/N: MIND THE FOURTH WALL!) Oh, right. Anyway Ben was unfortunately slapped, and kicked somewhere no man ever wants to be kicked. Gaylord obviously held back laughter as he said goodbye to me and telaported the two of them back wherever they needed to go.

The vehicle they'd brought for me was a blue Suzuki Swift sports car. A _really_ nice one. The tank was full, and there was room enough for me and the Smurfs. I expected some dumpy rental car, with how the agency has treated me since I joined. I was grateful to have it, though. Ray had apparently thought ahead, because when I looked in the back, there was a huge blue cooler filled with, you guessed it, smurfberries. And a note that said "figured you'd need these" on it.

After I'd inspected the car further, I went back inside to wake up the Smurfs. As I walked past the Phone in the kitchen, it rang. As if on cue. I sighed and picked it up, "Hello?"

"Jackie? It's me." Dottie. An instant smile plastered my face.

Have we discussed Dottie yet? Probably not, so let me explain. Dottie's just a pet name of mine. To everyone else, Dottie is Dorothy. Other pet names of mine include: Dot, Little Bird, (insert other mushy-gushy pet names that I'd rather not discuss...) Dottie is pale, short (5'1), has freckles on her face and not her body, has a cute little nose, baby-blue eyes, and shiny black hair that goes down to her hips. She's the muse for most of the pictures I take, partly because she'll deal with me, and partly because she's pretty. We've been dating since... I gotta say about two months after I joined the agency. We met, ironically, at a fund-raiser. The IDCA dating-auction. I had heard, through gossip-girl Lucy, that she would be participating. So I emptied my wallet and got the highest bid for a date with her. On that date, since my wallet had been previously emptied, we made Ray treat us to Subway. I still owe him a meal... We've been dating ever since. Ray often observes how we could possibly date, what with how different we are. Not only in looks, but personality too. She wears dresses, button-up shirts, flats, heals... and me, well you know me. Nevertheless, I love her, and she's the only person who can make me smile just by saying my name.

"Hey, Dottie." I said, "How's my girl?"

"I'm alright." Dottie answered, "So what are you doing today?"

"I'm taking the Smurfs to Nashville," I answered, leaning against the wall, "We've got that big custody trial with Gargamel tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh, alright. Well I just wanted to know. Call me when you get there, okay?" Dottie said, "And drive safe."

"Alright," I said, "I love you."

*LINE*

An hour later I was twenty-three years old, wearing one of mom's old hippie outfits since mine no longer fit (It was ripped jeans, and one of those flowy, flowery shirts with a matching headband), ushering a hundred and two little blue people into the back of my newly-acquired sports car. You, I'm sure, have never done this so try to understand. These are like a hundred and two eight-year-olds, all of whom- to be perfectly honest -can get annoying. This morning was one of the rare mornings when I could relate with Grouchy. Ray was not kidding when he told me I needed to be up.

Once everyone was in the car and ready to go, I put on my blue-tooth and started the car. In the front bench seat with me were Clumsy, Smurfette, Vexy, Hackus, Bashful, Harmony, Grouchy, Gutsy, and a few others. Some of the smurfs sat on the dashboard where they could see everything, while others preferred to sit on the floor or in the backseats. It was comfortably roomy, nonetheless.

As you can well imagine, we got bored very quickly. Luckily, Ray isn't the only one who had thought ahead. I plugged in my iPod, and turned on a playlist I'd made especially for this car ride. I put it on shuffle, and wouldn't you know it- the first song was "Ooh La La" by Brittany Spears. Everyone knew the words to this song. I started singing it and before long, everyone was singing. Even Bashful joined in.

Halfway through the playlist, my phone rang. "Hold on, guys." I turned the radio down, and answered. "Hello?"

"Jackie, it's me." Ray, "Hey, you guys on the road yet?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"Good. See? Didn't I tell you you'd need to be up?" Ray laughed.

I rolled my eyes, "FYI, we started on the interstate a half hour ago. Thank you very much."

*Fifteen minutes later*

"Yeah, see, and that's why we wear white." Smurfette explained.

"Ooh... okay, I see what you mean." I answered.

Hackus nodded, "White not really Hackus color."

"Or mine." Gutsy added, gesturing to his kilt.

*Fifteen more minutes later*

"Yeah, see, but I don't get it, why not just wear a shirt?" I asked, confused.

"Exactly!" Smurfette and Vexy said in unison.

Some of the boys rolled their eyes, and Hackus looked like he'd never really thought of it that way.

*A half an hour later*

I nodded, "Yeah, but no she's not. She's only a pop star when she's Hannah Montanna, when she's wearing the wig." I explained, "Because she only wants to be a pop star some of the time."

"Oh..." Smurfette nodded.

*Another half an hour later*

"But it would never happen!" Brainy argued.

I laughed, "No, but it did! I swear he did three flips and kicked the ceiling before he fell!"

"No smurfin' way!" Gutsy challenged.

"I swear, he did. And then when he ran out of fire extinguisher he just fell!" I laughed, "On Trish! Best day I've had so far."

*An hour later*

"Well..." I cleared my throat, "They come from storks, just like baby Smurfs do..."

*Yet another hour later*

"I'm just saying, I could never wear those shoes all the time. Like, how do you do it?" I asked.

Smurfette shrugged, "I'm used to it."

"I tried wearing her shoes once," Vexy cringed, "Remind me never to do that again."

"And how do you run?!"

*LINE*

Needless to say, our conversations ranged from many different topics... We had to stop for gas after the long debate over heals vs flats, so I pulled into a Quick Stop, seeing- guess who? Go ahead, guess.

"Trish!" I rolled down my window, smiling at her. "How long has it been?"

Trish's face could've curdled milk. "What are you doing here, Jacquelyn?" Again with the full name...

"Oh, just filling up the tank." I smiled, despite my loathing anger.

"Well you should be in Nashville." Trish said snottily.

I got out of the car, having no time for her games, "On my way." I said, getting ready to pump the gas. "We'll be there before too long, Trish."

"What do you have on?" Trish sneered, changing the subject.

"Clothes." I sneered back.

Trish rolled her eyes, "Well you can't wear _that_ or any of your _normal_ attire to the-"

"No smurf, Sherlock." I cut her off. "I'll be wearing a flight attendant getup of some sort, kind of like your _normal_ attire."

"Speaking of smurfs." Trish said, changing the subject. "Where are they?"

I took the nozzle out of the... I'm not mechanic, Google it... um... I took it out of the gas tank (yeah, that's it) and said, "They're in the car. Accept Papa, he's with Ray."

Apparently Trish had nothing else to nag me about, and I swear she stood there with her arms crossed just _thinking_ of something she could call me out on. Before she had the chance, I swiped my credit card and started to get back into the vehicle.

"Jacquelyn!" Trish stopped me.

"_What_?" I whined.

"You drive carefully. I don't want anything bad to happen to _my_ Smurfs." Trish then uncrossed her arms and walked away, probably to her Mercedes Benz that she'd been "issued" It was at this point that if a mind reader were within a three mile radius of me, he or she would be having gruesome nightmares for weeks- just from the _beginning_ of my thought.

*LINE*

hours later, and most of the smurfs had fallen asleep. I was carrying on an interesting conversation with Bashful, Gutsy, and Hackus.

"But really, I mean it doesn't make any sense. Why shouldn't men be allowed to wear skirts?" I said increduously. "I mean really. Women can wear pants, right?"

"It's not a skirt it's a kilt, lass." Gutsy reminded me.

"I know, but that's my point!" I said, "That's the only way boys can get away with not wearing pants. I think it's unfair."

"Ooh ooh! Hackus play dress up with Smurfette and Vexy! Sisters make Hackus pretty! Hackus wear a skirt!"

Bashful giggled at Hackus's excitement. I laughed at them both.

**Author's note:** **So!** **I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter ^^ let me know what you thought of it :) R&R please!**


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